[friend]: i got dumped again last weekShe explained the story, we commiserated about the inexplicable things guys can do, and then began discussing future steps and attractive new prospects. And then she said something that got me thinking:
[friend]: and then i was cleaning out texts from himOh man, I thought, understanding how that goes. With the evolution of mobile technology, email accounts with unimaginable capacity, and Facebook records and traces going back a few years, severing a relationship is no longer so simple as the stereotypical exchanging of borrowed items after a break - that cathartic throwing out of pictures together, old gifts, and other mementos. These days, there's a whole host of other records of the past, mostly casual little things you wouldn't ordinarily bother to save if your computer or cell phone didn't do it for you.
It's usually a good thing - great when you want to return to and savor a funny moment or an unexpectedly sweet conversation. But what happens when you don't? It's an interesting dilemma. One option is to go through the electronic equivalent of throwing everything out and delete all texts and emails, de-friend him (or her) on all the social networks, and so on. Unless it was a real heartbreak, though, that seems a little extreme. And presumably, the relationship was good for most of its duration. Wouldn't deleting absolutely everything be a rejection of those good times, too?
Unfortunately, the alternative can be just as awkward. Having a former love interest's texts lounge around your inbox and their gchat status hover at the top of your contacts list is an unnecessary (and just plain annoying) reminder that they still exist, especially in the immediate aftermath. Later, though, it becomes part of your history. Once you're over it, remembering a date who thought you looked great that night or some affectionate teasing about your rival sports teams - it can be nice.
So comment away, kids. What approach do you take?
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